A Ballad of suicide letters “When the soul suffers too much, it develops a taste for misfortune.”  ― Albert Camus, The First Man  I had twenty in my pocket, ten in my veins, and one in my heart. Happiness was another taste. I was an absurdist at heart. I knew nothing made sense. Nothing amounted … Continue reading Bereft


You rest your fingertip on the first button. Rest it on its lips tearing it open with a violence with a force not yet known to you the second one wilts in fear but your fingers scream unrelenting the countdown begins by the time you reach the last life has taken another meaning a car … Continue reading Buttons

all the way 

all with my eyes I lost all the way whispered the roads even my bones knelt  beside me this landscape  marred with a scale weighs in  on itself this sky  held down by its lies  carries the earth  in whispers and lies who knew    the price of dreaming  was losing my hold on reality … Continue reading all the way 

between the boiling coffee that waits for no man      to the genie of false courtesies and lies i held on for one second   no not the second in which i stepped backwards from my mother’s room to my mother’s wishes or the second it takes to crawl out of the bed and lie   … Continue reading


  I smile a little love into your eyes as I crawl into foetal position you don’t know      you think it makes me feel safe   no darling it’s the only thing keeping me whole


there’s a thought i’ve lost for ever or every thought I’ve lost forever has been living under a rock somewhere there’s a stream   a slippery stream of dreams i’ve let them go   i let them slip through my fingers but they linger somewhere in the universe everything that disappears here finds its place in a … Continue reading dinosaurs

out the window

you look out the window- your skin erupts “this is not a fairytale”  -   so she wants to believe tell yourself you but you turn around               you’re suddenly Plath the mirror lies               my darling                    that’s not you no    not the girl with the BROAD hips   Not the girl the THE girl with the thin lips … Continue reading out the window

my eternal

I step I walk I run             dreams are done The hourglass is                 dripping What is time      just a rhythm Just an inner fight in the universe Of the skin and love What is time Nothing but a beautiful Serial killer A dream sequence A fast forward without the option to stop So what is time … Continue reading my eternal